Ep 9: The Map of Moments
OMG was this a Christmas episode? Will I get everything I want for Christmas? Klaus and Elijah to be bros? Mama Hayley and Papa Klaus together with their baby? Elijah and Hayley together at last?
KOL WITHOUT A TERRIBLE WIG?? Thank you, Santa.
3/4 ain’t that bad…
Marcel and Klaus working famously together? It’s a Christmas miracle! (It’s also a few years ago. So not too surprising.)
This is what started the phrase “bros before hos”
Lol at this flashback making it seem like Klaus and Marcel actually worked together once upon a time. Oh right, they did. So they need to get themselves together and stop being emo with each other.
At least this flashback had limited stupid wigs. Christmas in October miracles do happen!
Some weird spell happened and trapped people in a mansion? What?
It totally is the Christmas episode.
Elijah’s got some stuff to deal with and he’s not handling it well.
Unless by “handling” I mean “mass murdering a whole kitchen of people” in which case he’s handling things pretty well.
I can’t take my boo Elijah being the unstable one. Klaus, go do your duty and be the sad, unhinged brother. Thx.
Marcel is NOT happy with Kol trying to get all up into Davina’s business. Meanwhile, I’m still more invested in the Cami/Marcel ship than Rebekah/Marcel. Why did Cami and Marcel break up again? They basically still act like they’s a couple, boo.
Marcel can just piss off kindly, though. But I appreciate his caring for Davina even though he is re-creating the same relationship he has with Klaus. In case you didn’t know what daddy issues looked like, here they are my friends.
OK, baby witch, don’t be taken in by Kol’s sad little sob story of being the odd man out in his family. Did he really want to fit in there, let’s be real.
“Do you even know your family, dude?”
Okay so anyone whose name started with a K was the black sheep in this family, huh? That’s a good way to it, I guess. I shrugged as I typed this, because, well, ::shrugs::
Oh the rivalry makes sense between Marcel and Kol if Marcel was the replacement Kol.
I still don’t feel too bad for Marcel and his daddy issues with Klaus. Klaus didn’t exactly have the best role model in his life. Why do the damaged ones all want little brother/son types in their life? Maybe Elijah should take one on too. His protégés would be so cute in their little suits. One can dream.
I do love that Kol calls Davina by her full name.
Okay Kol and Davina have my attention.
Oh. Right. Mikael. Forgot you’re still around.
Have we ever seen Mikael and Esther interact before?
Right before they got to work on baby number 3982347
Mikael and Esther for parents of the year…said one ever.
Ah, a parenting meeting. That went well.
ELIJAH IS HOLDING A BABY my ovaries have exploded, they are indeed gone.
Elijah + baby!
Did you need those ovaries? Didn’t think so.
Rebekah: I am reviving a family tradition, especially since we’re all going to be together.
Elijah: Only because we’re fleeing from one of our deranged parents, another Mikaelson family tradition.
I legit laughed out loud at that line.
I love when Elijah pretty much summarizes the entire show with one quip. He does this a lot and I love it.
It’s been good for Rebekah to be away from her family (AHEM, Klaus) and do the whole single parent thing. She looks better. Happier. Healthier. Less eye make-up.
Because Bex is worth it.
Rebekah is better without her emotionally abusive boyfriend! I mean umm..brother. Sometimes I can’t tell the difference.
THE PARENTS HAVE ARRIVED. I’m surprised they took a car, I imagined them literally sprinting their hybrid asses there. Also, imagine that car ride.
Hayley IS running, quite literally like a bat out of hell. Klaus slowly walks like he doesn’t believe the baby is real and that he’s going to see her but Hayley… remember when she almost took the poison to abort the little one? I love that she loves baby Hope so much.
Hayley and Klaus both didn’t want the baby at first and now they are just like OUR CHILD. Bless it!
And Elijah can’t help but stare at Hayley, who is holding her for basically the first time.
Just when I think I’m over Elijah and Hayley…
Klaus just angry stares. Remember how he just doesn’t emotion, not when it matters, not when faced with absolute love.
Hayley, why can’t you be in a love triangle with the brothers? Because you and Klaus with baby Hope makes my heart want to ship it so much.
You know for Daniel and Joseph not wanting this love triangle to happen they sure know how to play up with chemistry with Phoebe when together. HMMMMMMMMM…fishy. I’m not really blaming them. I just want things…and it’s sort of Christmas, right?
THE HAPPIEST OF SMILES ON KLAUS’ FACE.
This looks like some JCPenney’s catalogue.
Time for Rebekah and Klaus to have a pow wow and literally I’m turning into a twelve year old on tumblr, like, HE LOOKS AT HER THEREFORE HE LOVES HER someone stop me please.
At least Klaus is telling EVERYONE and not trying to use it as a manipulation tool. He’s really come so far. This won’t last.
We have Kol around for the bad boy with all the feels so they benched Klaus. No point of even thinking this will last.
“No wonder Finn hates us. He lost the sister he adored and got instead a judgy pack of siblings who find him unbearably dull.” Rebekah, I have missed you.
Rebekah telling it like it is.
Yeah, Hayley believes Dalia’s dead as much as I believe the sun’s going to rise in the west.
Family tradition and Hayley is getting into the motherly swing of things. ‘What? Family tradition? THEN BABY SHALL BE A PART OF THIS.’
Rebekah’s face I’VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH.
Yes, Cami and Marcel! Well, that was short.
This is it, this is all you got.
Cami and Marcel share a two second scene and Meghan is peeing her pants.
Klaus fights the wish game with a joking jab at Hayley’s relationship with Elijah. Hayley plays the labour and death card. It’s essentially like they’re married. I love this so much.
Klaus and Hayley once again proving they are too crazy to be parents.
At least he’s not dangling her out of a window. He’s not THAT crazy. #standards
Oh, just kidding. He knows about the Werewolf Hubby. I guess that was a talkative car ride.
Please tell me I’m not the only one that doesn’t give a rats ass about werewolf hubby anymore. We should have left this in season 1.
Klaus likes playing with Hayley’s head in like a fun, best friend kind of way. I don’t know if I ship them or want them to be bros.
They are good bros!
Marcel is taking Finn out…for Cami. I get it, but this really isn’t a great idea. Not that it matters.
Finn, you’re as much of a wet blanket as Hubby Wolf.
He needs to be thrown into the dryer for another 20 minutes.
Get rid of Finn and Werewolf hubby and we will be ok.
Interesting. Finn doesn’t believe in redemption. And he’s going crazy Patrick Bateman on his own kind.
Oh Finn. No. Just no.
Elijah, talk to people. Deal with your issues. He’s so tired of running, of fighting. He needs his siblings to fight for him.
Elijah breaks my heart.
Can I just dress like Davina?
I miss Josh so much.
Man I wish we had actual Kol back. He’s a wonderful actor.
He’s ready! BRING HIM BACK
Klaus is NOT liking family time and it’s the best thing ever to watch him as the women in his life get excited about holiday traditions. It’s like an All in the Family episode (YES Klaus is Archie Bunker.)
Klaus is such a boy when it comes to things.
THIS IS THE HAPPIEST THEY WILL EVER BE LOOK AT MY OTPs HAPPY AND TOGETHER AND ughhhhh it’s only going to hurt from here.
Would it be weird if I framed this picture as one of my family photos?
Everyone being happy and together is a Christmas miracle!
Took two seconds. BUT it was Klaus being all protective and fatherly, so I forgive it.
Rebekah is going to accept Mama Mikaelson’s body jumping deal, in order to take her down. Because she believes in the family, believes in fighting for them.
There’s a perceptible moment where Klaus is heartbroken that Rebekah would be willing to lose herself because she hates that she cannot have a family. But then it quickly changes to father mode as he thinks only of Hope.
WHY do we want to redeem Klaus and not Kol? Why are we only working for the benefit of one sibling instead of all?
He’s got the necessary brooding face down pat.
Because Kol is not a series regular. Easy.
Interesting. Kol is on the up and up about his desire to protect himself against Klaus. Maybe he hasn’t learned how to manipulate quite as well as the others, he is the youngest.
IT’S FINE, REBEKAH AND KLAUS HAVE A HEART FELT CAR RIDE AND I’M FINE
This is, in fact, incest lighting.
Klaus and Rebekah are trying to be siblings but I’m tainted because #incest.
Oooo. Ooo, wait, Klaus and Rebekah left Hayley and Elijah. In a house. Alone.
Oh, gross, she’s telling him about Hubby Wolf. MOOD KILLER.
Hubby wolf can give anyone blue balls.
Poor Elijah, he’s going through so much and now the woman he loves is going to get married to someone else and I just…
Apparently NOT the mood killer we all thought!
Elijah resurrects every mood.
YES HAVE ALL THE SEX ELIJAH AND HAYLEY. ALL THE SEX.
THANK YOU SANTA.
This is the hottest thing I’ve seen in a while DAMN.
Just think, the last time she had sex it was with the OTHER brother…wonder how that measures up. (YOU ALL WERE THINKING IT.)
I think Elijah and Klaus are probably both good in bed, just different. Yes these are things I have thought about.
Gah, I think I need to watch that a few more times. How can I focus on anything else happening in this episode.
I too am having trouble not rewatching this scene. Ahem.
Wait, for Rebekah’s body jump we’re using a woman who’s “a little too lost” to join Marcel’s Vampire Resurgence club but GIA is emotionally stable?!
Oh my god. What is Esther even about anymore. Nothing. She is about nothing.
Welp, nope, I don’t trust you anymore, Kol. All trust is gone, you’re going to side with Mama Mikaelson.
This show is doing wonders for mine and Cami’s trust issues.
Even Davina thinks that’s crazy and Davina is a sixteen year old!
Why does poor soul Davina get stuck with these idiots. Why?
But then Klaus marches in and have I mentioned fatherhood is a good look on him? He’s not whining, he’s logical and in charge. He’s inspiring.
Inspiring? Are things happening to you Meghan? Edit: Not inspiring ME. Inspiring in general,
Rebekah’s returned home to Mama Mikaelson. I’m really anxious, this isn’t going to go well and I don’t know how it will end.
How does Esther not know her son is working magic?
Oh, soooooo terrifying…
Over the Mikaelson parents. They don’t even seem like a real threat to me.
And how did they get to an exterior shot so quickly?!
B roll, baby!
And HOW did you guys not know she was planning on using the stake on their bodies?! GUYS has Christmas dulled your ‘Mother is Going to Kill Us’ senses?!
Rebekah’s not sure she wants to have her flesh completely obliterated. Which makes sense because it’s death to a lot of people.
KLAUS JUST SACRIFICED HIMSELF TO SAVE HIS SISTER. “Take me instead.” I’m going to cry. I love this Klaus, I love him so much, I never thought we’d get here and see him be all heroic. It’s going to end, isn’t it?
I’m so nervous about Klaus becoming evil again, but I like him when he’s more grey than anything.
She made a deal with Mikael for him to kill Klaus, poor wooby Klaus can’t catch a break.
Despite how obnoxious Mikael has become, Klaus’ fear over his father will always break my heart.
Even when Klaus is being good his Karma just can’t catch up to him.
The time is happened BUT DID IT WORK!?
Are Elijah and Hayley still having sex through all this madness?
Side note, let it be known while all this is going on, Elijah and Hayley are GETTING IT ON.
Yes they are.
Finn got out. Crap. Wait, someone busted Finn out? Oh, right. Mikael.
Mikael, just go away. Please. I am more over this plot than Sophie last season.
All right. Go time. Who’s in Cami’s body? IT’S CAMI.
Elijah! Why are you going along with Klaus, why are you torturing your other little brother??
Guh. He got staked because of Rebekah back in the day and now he took his revenge out on her and it just all makes me sick how people could do horrible things to each other.
WHY DO THESE SIBLINGS NOT HAVE REGULAR SIBLING PROBLEM? My brother and I used to fight over the remote or who ate the others food in the fridge overnight (hint it, was my brother.) BUT I DIDN’T STAB HIM WITH A DAMN STAKE.
But you know, Kol and Davina make out. Whatever. I’m still royally pissed at him right now.
Can’t even get into this Kol and Davina scene because I am pissed at Kol.
Christmas lights, you won’t sway me.
Davina is HELLA into it though.
Although a part of me is cheering on for Davina. She deserves SOMETHING after all she’s been through.
Wait Mama Mikaelson isn’t dead? AND KLAUS IS OK WITH IT? Oh, you know what Klaus is not OK with? Selling him to Mikael. I don’t blame him. Fight back against Mama, boo.
OMG. He turned her. Brilliant. Oh and she can’t be a witch. A true loss for their kind, I’m sure.
HAHAHAHA MAMA MIKAELSON. IN YO FACE!
“Your choice. Which is more than you ever gave us.” This is good, so so good for Klaus.
Klaus hit mama with a zinger about how crappy she was as a mother to her kids. Good one Klaus. Now right those parental wrongs.
Klaus is also kind of proud of Kol for being a man of his word…sort of.
I don’t know how much longer this is going to last between Kol and Klaus to be honest. I feel like Kol is about to turn real soon, and if he doesn’t it’s going to be a tragic death. I just know it.
Meanwhile Rebekah wakes up. Ten bucks it’s an asylum. From all the creepy noises, I think I’m right…
Bek’s is back for like two seconds and is already in a bind. Girl can’t even catch a break.
I mean I figured it was the old house but I’m still really confused as to…anything with that whole storyline.
I don’t get it either.
Like some B horror movie from the 40s.
Ep 10: Gonna Set Your Flag on Fire
It’s always exciting when I find a video that doesn’t draaaaaag. Also, HEY everyone! It’s been a minute. My body basically put down the rules that I needed to take a break.
My body also said the same, and while everyone is celebrating premieres week, we in the broadcast ad sales industry recognize this as the last week of the quarter and for me personally; HELL.
But I’m back and here we are, watching Elijah and Hayley having the most adorable morning after, if only he could just forget his shame at mass murdering. Which, you know, we’d probably hate him if he felt nothing. But I thought we already had depressive, guilty-face brother struggles in Stefan.
Yes, let’s not, make Elijah another Stefan. Thanks.
This whole post brought to you by JCPenneys.
Klaus brings Cami to come meet baby Hope and calls her troublemaker and I will never not love Papa Klaus.
I love the change fatherhood is presenting to Klaus, he’s becoming more of a family man.
Is it weird for anyone else that Cami feels so strongly about baby Mikaelson?
I feel like Cami is just there for whatever reason lately. I want her to get a storyline that doesn’t revolve around her being everyone’s therapist.
Oh, it’s Elijah’s turn to get therapy from Cami? I’m not upset about this. He could use some good Cami Time. And I don’t mean sex, he just had that kind of therapy with Hayley and it was magnificent.
Cami O’Connell: Therapist to The Originals. I can see the spin off now.
If you weren’t sure that Rebekah body jumped into a human in an insane asylum — she did. We got proof.
Oh poor, poor Rebekah.
Finn’s on team parents, as pretty much any oldest child would be. Poor Finn. Though he’s still the worst.
Team kill Finn. Most boring person ever.
And then queue Wolf Hubby, literally the most boring person ever.
Ugh, Hubby Wolf and Hayley. I would be on board with this if he weren’t so…lame. Also if he weren’t so gung ho to go after Hayley like some sort of prize monkey.
Can Wolf Hubby please get over the whole “MY PARENTS PROMISED YOU TO ME” thing. Please just stop.
BUT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO MARRY ME MY MOMMY SAID SO
Haven’t we already had a wolf/vampire showdown in this show? Ten times?
One hundred times.
Someone finally believes Rebekah? Only took ten minutes. Oh, because Cassie’s also at the insane asylum. You remember Cassie — the harvest girl witch that came back with Esther in tow? (Don’t be impressed I remembered. Rebekah just expositioned for us.)
It’s the baby witch!
Kol and Klaus being bros? Well, Elijah’s out for the count, Klaus has to bond with someone. And since he hasn’t had any QT with Marcel, little brother Kol will have to do.
Kol and Klaus are bonding over their K names and being woobies.
“It’s not hard, wear black and be atrocious to everyone around you.”
And now Finn even shows up between the Wolf and Vamp showdown and just starts spewing hate. If the media has taught us anything over the past year, it’s that hate does not dissipate more hate.
Marcel’s plan for weathering the storm of close quarters is booze. Basically they’re having a hurricane party.
Marcel was kind of a fresh reprieve to be honest.
THERAPY TIME. But Elijah is antagonistic towards the idea, I’m so thrown.
“It all started a thousand years ago…”
I’ m confused by this Elijah storyline, though… what is it really?
HAYLEY AND KLAUS TALKING ABOUT ELIJAH this is everything. I love them being bros. “Let the spirit move you…” That’s right, we’re in the pentecostal south AND I LOVE THIS WHOLE SCENE.
Klaus almost had a line worth quoting and then he didn’t.
Klaus and Hayley are being cute and friendly. I will take this. Baby Hope needs the opposite of her grandparents in her life.
I didn’t think I would be as invested in the Witch Asylum storyline but it’s got all the elements of Sleepy Hollow and I’m so on board.
I for one had enough with these freaking witches already.
The Formula for an Originals episode is basically just coupling everyone up in their missions. Davina is now different.
Oh gross, Finn is channeling Mikael’s dark power. This family is SCREWED. UP.
OH KILL ME. IT’S FINN.
Cami is quizzing Elijah on history and it’s the most wonderful thing. That is, until she spills something on him and he starts freaking out I just want to love this poor boy.
We’re in the middle of a war, trapped in a castle with everyone but NOW is the time for Hayley to bare her indiscretions to Hubby Wolf. “I was with Elijah in every biblical sense.” Hubby Wolf, Elijah is end game, don’t act all surprised.
Lol Hayley. Now is not the time to discuss your sexy times with hubby wolf. Ugh. Hubby Wolf is gross anyway.
OBVIOUSLY HAYLEY IS IN LOVE WITH ELIJAH.
Hubby Wolf, you know nothing about Hayley, why you so mad and betrayed for the love of idiots.
Hubby wolf is as dumb as I think he is if he thinks he can hold a candle to the beauty that is Elijah.
But in terms of people with love lives that DON’T suck – JOSH IS GETTIN’ SOMEEEEE.
Is Josh needing blood? Oh wait Finn did something to Josh! And Gia! And Marcel! Well, our stakes have been upped.
Josh has been dearly missed. Now give me some Josh and Davina.
We’re happy for you but Davina.
Klaus and I feel the same about Finn’s evil monologuing.
CAN SOMEONE JUST KILL FINN ALREADY. For the love of God, why does this show always have that one character where its like WHY ARE YOU HERE!?!?
Apparently witch powers are signified by wind blowing. Which means there must be a lot of witches in Chicago.
Chicago: The Witchy City.
Ooo an EMP magic bomb?
Cami’s therapy on Elijah doesn’t work when she’s afraid of him. Interesting. She’s never afraid of Klaus so she can therapy him all she wants. But Elijah might actually kill her (I mean, not really, but still.)
I think it’s interesting how Cami can sense Elijah out of control is more of a danger than Klaus out of control. It further solidifies why Klaus is so scared of Elijah.
Precious baby Finn’s discovered his beloved mother is a vampire and it was only two seconds but that was awesome.
Of course Boyfriend Wolf gets all bloody. Vampires are having a hard time EVEN JOSH ugh. But Klaus saves him because he is Papa Klaus.
Klaus is saving everyone! That’s amazing.
So is Bex losing her mind? She keeps seeing this 90s emo ghost chick. And then found a coffin?
Why is Lydia from Beetlejuice in this episode?
This is good. Finn’s moralities and principles come crashing down. Meanwhile Mama Mikaelson starts to rethink all of her hatreds.
Mama Mikaelson is getting everything she deserved if you ask me.
What just happened? Oh, Klaus found out Rebekah isn’t in the body she’s supposed to be in and Kol is once again on the outs.
UGHHHHHH Hubby Wolf got Hayley a ring. Not a moonlight ring, a damn engagement ring. No, bro, you DON’T love Hayley. You never even knew Hayley, you loved the idea of Hayley. Please stop. And did Elijah escape the safe house to see this proposal?
JUST SAY NO
HUBBY WOLF AND HAYLEY MIGHT ACTUALLY GO THROUGH WITH IT!! WHYYY?!?
OK, good no. He’s still protecting Hope because he’s awesome. And he finally admits he’s not dealing well! CAN WE THERAPY NOW??
HAH Finn looking down at his incapacitated parents and is like “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT BECAUSE YOU HAD OTHER CHILDREN” typical oldest child.
You and me both, Cami.
Finn is such a creeper though. The Oedipal complex is so gross.
I KNEW IT. EMO GHOST GIRL IS FREYA, DEAD OLDEST OLDEST MIKAELSON CHILD.
So she isn’t Lydia!? She’s Freya! Good job show. Now get rid of Finn and Hubby Wolf and I’ll be good.
A special edition of Scrabble.